Posted On Sunday, Jan 01, 1950
Life was simple in the good old days.
I went to my barber near Churchgate station in Bombay and sat on the waiting bench. When they said, "Next" I strolled up to the barber chair; sat down and waited.
Once on the high chair with my feet dangling in the air, the barber would walk up to me, wrap the starched white sheet around my thin body, and look at me.
I would say, "Medium".
What that meant was: not too short, not too long.
If you wanted a really short hair cut, a crew cut, the term was "uda do". That would be the equivalent of "Knock it off, baby!" in today's language.
And after the haircut the barber would bring the mirror to show me what my hair looked like from different angles. I would nod my head sideways in agreement, slip off the chair, and proceed to pay the cashier.
When I got home, I would have a shower with some soap or shampoo and go back to doing whatever we did as young boys and men.
The visit to the dentist was a little more adventurous.
That is, if you equate pain with adventure.
The act of sitting on the dentist's chair was like being asked to sit on one of those electrocution chairs one sees in movies. But that was the price for all the chewing gum and all the supari and all the Cokes and Fantas that I consumed.
What made the trip to the dentist a little more enjoyable was that Aunty Meenu was a family friend. She would come over once a week to our place and have dinner with my parents and other friends. I was allowed to stay awake till late and sit with them on those wonderful nights.
They would discuss things they had read in Time magazine (there was no internet and no TV - black or white). What I heard and learnt at those dinners was more educational than what I was being taught in school.
So the visit to the dentist was an opportunity to meet a family friend.
(Of course, all that rational explanation I just gave you went right out the window as soon as the shrieking sound of the dentist's drill bellowed in my open mouth.)
Be that as it may, I went to the dentist, got my bad teeth fixed, went home and drank a Coke.
The new barber; the modern dentist
But the barbers of today are different.
Firstly, it is rarely the same person who cuts your hair twice.
You sit on the chair and the barber run their finger through your hair.
"Your hair is dry - would you like to use this Special Hair Conditioner For Dry Hair?"
Uh, I think to myself, another barber at the same barber shop had told me one month ago that my hair was "greasy".
Once they will say my hair is "thick".
The next time I am told it is "damaged"
After I politely decline all the bottles from brand names I cannot pronounce, there is silence for a while.
"Would you like a spike in your hair? I can give you the gel that you need to keep it that way".
I decline - you see, I don't really like spikes.
All I wanted was a haircut, really.
Like the barbers, the dentists have also chosen a new profession: how to make your teeth look good.
Don't get me wrong, they do fix it. But they seem to spend 90% of their time telling you what else you can do make your teeth more white; more straight; more rounded and less pointy.
"What is the difference" asked my colleague, "between a heart specialist and a dentist?"
The answer: The heart specialist has one heart to fix; the dentist has 32 teeth to fix.
That is a lot more bills.
Simple journey for your investments
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against doctors.
My father is a doctor.
Many of my cousins - who are far more intelligent than me - are doctors.
And they are really nice people and very professional.
But, in general, the doctor of today has changed.
As has the barber.
As has the financial advisor - or bank branch manager.
Everyone is looking to "originate" a transaction.
Creating something where there was nothing required.
In the USA, they spend an estimated USD 200 billion every year on medical tests that were later determined to be not required at all.
A shampoo bottle is no longer a simple shampoo bottle.
A stock is no longer representative of what the business of the company earns, but is a financial instrument which you can "short, long, or hedge".
It is the fastest spun device that outlasts the spin on a Las Vegas roulette wheel.
All this billing and product creation adds to someone's economic activity.
It adds to GDP - the measurement of economic activity.
But does it add to your happiness?
To GHP - Gross Happiness Product?
So the financial world has made life so complicated sometimes I wonder, did we create all these products to look after Your savings - or to look after our income?
Is the doctor there for your health - or his wealth?
Is the barber there to cut your hair - or shave you silly?
Investments - and investing - is actually very simple.
Many financial companies have made a business of your confusion from their jargon and complex language. The blow up in the financial world was because the creators of the instruments themselves had no idea what they themselves were creating. And, if a few did, they kept quiet - because of the money they earned in the process.
Come, hear what we have to say as we start our Path to Profit journey in Bangalore on September 12th at 6 pm at Hotel Shelton Grand (this is the new venue; please note there is a change of venue in Bangalore).
Take this simple journey for your investments.
The good doctors and the good barbers exist.
Let us show you how to find them.
|Quantum Long Term Equity Fund||Quantum Gold Fund (NSE symbol: QGOLDHALF)||Quantum Liquid Fund|
|Why you should own it:||An investment for the future and an opportunity to profit from the long term economic growth in India||A hedge against a global financial crisis and an "insurance" for your portfolioA hedge against a global financial crisis and an "insurance" for your portfolio||Cash in hand for any emergency uses but should get better returns than a savings account in a bank|
|Suggested allocation||80 %||20%||Keep aside money to meet your expenses for 6 months to 2 years|
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Ajit Dayal, the author is a Director in Quantum Information Services Private Limited and Quantum Asset Management Company Private Limited. Views expressed in this article are entirely those of the author and may not be regarded as views of the Quantum Mutual Fund or Quantum Asset Management Company Private Limited or Quantum Information Services Private Limited.
Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks. Please read the offer documents of the respective schemes before making any investments
Note: This article was first carried on www.equitymaster.com
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